WAP-1A1
Maroon / XS
$30.00
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Nature spent millions of years developing the armadillo.
We decided it needed upgrades.
Introducing the WAP-1A1: WEAPONIZED ASSAULT POSSUM, an all-terrain, ballistically armored, questionably legal tactical mammal equipped with everything necessary to dominate America’s roadsides.
Enhanced sensory package? Check.
Integrated ballistic armor? Check.
Encrypted communications? Obviously.
Tactical retraction mode? BALL.
This absurd military technical-manual design treats the humble armadillo like the Pentagon just awarded it a multi-billion-dollar defense contract.
DO NOT PET.
DO NOT CHASE.
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE.
Threat Level: HIGH.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.
WAP-1A1
$30.00
We decided it needed upgrades.
Introducing the WAP-1A1: WEAPONIZED ASSAULT POSSUM, an all-terrain, ballistically armored, questionably legal tactical mammal equipped with everything necessary to dominate America’s roadsides.
Enhanced sensory package? Check.
Integrated ballistic armor? Check.
Encrypted communications? Obviously.
Tactical retraction mode? BALL.
This absurd military technical-manual design treats the humble armadillo like the Pentagon just awarded it a multi-billion-dollar defense contract.
DO NOT PET.
DO NOT CHASE.
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE.
Threat Level: HIGH.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| 5XL | 35 | 31 | 62-65 |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
| 5XL | 89 | 78.7 | 157.5-165 |